The 2017 Jeff Malone Academy Awards

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CREDIT: Amazon Studios

If I were in charge of unilaterally selecting the Oscars, here is who would be selected. Nominees are listed alphabetically, winners in bold.

Best Picture
The Big Sick
I, Tonya
Lady Bird
Lady Macbeth
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Director
Darren Aronofsky, mother!
Luc Besson, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
Patty Jenkins, Wonder Woman
Christopher Nolan, Dunkirk
William Oldroyd, Lady Macbeth
Michael Showalter, The Big Sick

Lead Actor
Michael Fassbender, Alien: Covenant
Hugh Jackman, Logan
Daniel Kaluuya, Get Out
James McAvoy, Split
Algee Smith, Detroit

Lead Actress
Gal Gadot, Wonder Woman
Aubrey Plaza, Ingrid Goes West
Florence Pugh, Lady Macbeth
Margot Robbie, I, Tonya
Taylor Schilling, Take Me

Supporting Actor
Jake Gyllenhaal, Okja
Caleb Landry Jones, Get Out
Ray Romano, The Big Sick
Adam Sandler, The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
Patrick Stewart, Logan

Supporting Actress
Betty Gabriel, Get Out
Holly Hunter, The Big Sick
Laurie Metcalf, Lady Bird
Michelle Pfeiffer, mother!
Allison Williams, Get Out

Adapted Screenplay
Dante Harper, Michael Green, John Logan, Jack Paglen, Alien: Covenant
Alice Birch, Lady Macbeth
Scott Frank, Michael Green, James Mangold, Logan
Luc Besson, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
Jason Fuchs, Allan Heinberg, Zack Snyder, Wonder Woman

Original Screenplay
Kumail Nanjiani and Emily V. Gordon, The Big Sick
Kevin Costello and Kyle Mooney, Brigsby Bear
Steven Rogers, I, Tonya
Greta Gerwig, Lady Bird
Martin McDonagh, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Animated Feature
Coco
The LEGO Batman Movie
The LEGO Ninjago Movie

Cinematography
Bojan Bazelli, A Cure for Wellness
Hoyte van Hoytema, Dunkirk
Ari Wegner, Lady Macbeth
Darius Khondji, The Lost City of Z
Steve Yedlin, Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Costume Design
Natalie O’Brien, The Bad Batch
Stacey Battat, The Beguiled
Jennifer Johnson, I, Tonya
Holly Waddington, Lady Macbeth
Olivier Bériot, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

Film Editing
Paul Machliss and Jonathan Amos, Baby Driver
Lee Smith, Dunkirk
Gregory Plotkin, Happy Death Day
Tatiana S. Riegel, I, Tonya
Jennifer Lame, The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)

Makeup and Hairstyling
Alien: Covenant
Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Wonder

Original Score
Hans Zimmer, Dunkirk
Oneohtrix Point Never, Good Time
Jonny Greenwood, Phantom Thread
Alexandre Desplat, The Shape of Water
John Williams, Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Original Song
“Cut to the Feeling,” written by Carly Rae Jepsen, Leap!
“Mystery of Love,” written by Sufjan Stevens, Call Me by Your Name
“Remember Me,” written by Kristen Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez, Coco
“Tuff Love,” written by Geremy Jasper, Patti Cake$

Production Design
Alien: Covenant
Blade Runner 2049
Okja
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
Wonderstruck

Sound Editing
Baby Driver
Dunkirk
mother!
Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Sound Mixing
Baby Driver
Dunkirk
mother!
Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Visual Effects
Blade Runner 2049
Okja
Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
War for the Planet of the Apes

Documentary
I didn’t watch enough documentaries this year.

Foreign Language Film
A Fantastic Woman
Foxtrot
Loveless
Raw
The Square

Animated Short
Garden Party

Live Action Short
The Eleven O’Clock

Documentary Short Subject
Heroin(e)

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Best Songs of 2017

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CREDIT: ToveLoVEVO

It’s early March, so it must be time for me to post my list of the best singles of the past year!

1. Tove Lo – “Disco Tits” – A woman doesn’t have to be modest to earn respect, and don’t Tove Lo know it.
2. Kesha – “Praying” – The gospel-tinged anthem we all need right now.
3. Lorde – “Green Light” – If you’re looking for euphoria, Lorde has you covered.
4. Jain – “Makeba” – This guaranteed toe-tapper/hip-spinner was technically released in 2016, but while it may have taken off in Jain’s native France that year, it didn’t really hit in the U.S. until that Levi’s commercial debuted in late 2017.
5. Marian Hill – “Down” – A deceptively simple piano-driven trip-hop jam from this Philadelphia duo.
6. Carly Rae Jepsen – “Cut to the Feeling” – We all need to just follow the Tao of Carly.
7. St. Vincent – “Los Ageless” – St. Vincent is still the master of combining genuine chops with super scuzzy distortion.
8. Beck – “Up All Night” – Put this track on if your house party’s tunes are bringing everyone down.
9. Miley Cyrus – “Younger Now” – Is this what agelessness feels like?
10. Dua Lipa – “New Rules” – Dua Lipa’s anthem attempt = anthem success!
11. Miguel – “Told You So” – If there is one singer above all others belting out tunes right now about whom I would say, “You’ve got to listen to what they’re saying,” it’s gotta be Miguel.
12. Alice Merton – “No Roots” – There may be no roots to Alice Merton’s disposition, but there plenty of roots, powerful ones at that, to her musical influences.
13. Camila Cabello ft. Young Thug – “Havana” – This song makes me sweaty. But it’s the sweat of passion, so I don’t feel gross.
14. Zedd and Alessia Cara – “Stay” – Zedd is the kind of DJ so skilled at bottling up those moments you don’t want to let slip away.
15. Calvin Harris ft. Pharrell Williams, Katy Perry, and Big Sean – “Feels” – Just some tropical vibes to get you by.
16. Portugal. The Man – “Feel It Still” – The sort of generational rock song with lyrics that might mean something profound or nothing at all.
17. Katy Perry ft. Ziggy Marley – “Chained to the Rhythm” – Direct, but also pointed and bopping.
18. The Killers – “The Man” – One thing we can count in this life is songs entitled “The Man” being silly but also kind of anthemic.

Best TV Episodes of 2017

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CREDIT: Suzanne Tenner/SHOWTIME

These episodes of television all originally aired in North America between January 1, 2017 and December 31, 2017. I watched them, and I enjoyed doing so. I bet you will feel the same while watching them … if you haven’t already.

1. Twin Peaks: The Return – “Part 8”
2. Nathan for You – “The Anecdote”
3. Halt and Catch Fire – “Who Needs a Guy”
4. Nathan for You – “Finding Frances”
5. Rick and Morty – “Morty’s Mind Blowers”
6. Better Call Saul – “Chicanery”
7. Halt and Catch Fire – “Ten of Swords”
8. Black Mirror – “Hang the DJ”
9. Twin Peaks: The Return – “Part 17”
10. Halt and Catch Fire – “Goodwill”
11. Twin Peaks: The Return – “Part 18”
12. Mr. Robot – “eps3.4_runtime-error.r00”
13. Review – “Cryogenics; Lightning; Last Review”
14. The Good Place – “Dance Dance Resolution”
15. Great News – “Honeypot!”
16. Big Mouth – “Requiem for a Wet Dream”
17. Rick and Morty – “The Ricklantis Mixup”
18. Mr. Robot – “eps3.7_dont-delete-me.ko”
19. BoJack Horseman – “Time’s Arrow”
20. Tim and Eric’s Bedtime Stories – “Angel Man”